Picture this: You're about to take an algebra test, and after studying for hours and hours with your tutor and on your own, you feel confident about it. The teacher puts the test in front of you, and after one look at the first page, that confidence starts to go down. You walk out of the test feeling like you failed, and the next day when you get the test back, your eyes are immediately drawn to that bright red 34 percent on the top right corner of your paper - an F. You failed, again.
That's what it's been like for me in math for the past two years. I haven't done so well in math ever since the fractions became bigger and a simple x + 2 = 3 became f(x)=2h(5g)-7gh. Math is the one subject I struggle in, and it's hard for me to do, regardless of my tutor or teacher's help.
It's never easy to admit you just simply aren't good at something. It was EXTREMELY hard for me to admit that I'm bad at math, even to myself. I would tell myself that it's not true, and when an opportunity to prove my mind was just in a phase came, I jumped on it.
It was sixth grade, and I had just received a 4/10 on my fractions test - another F. That's when my teacher told us about these worksheets for extra credit, called "Virtual Math." We could do the worksheets in class, turn them in and receive points. I was so excited, so I grabbed them all and took them home with me to practice.
But, soon I was sitting at home, just as confused as I was in class. What was an integer? I've never even seen these fractions! By quadratic, do they mean four "radics"?! I was in a new math hell. I became so frustrated that I began to do my regular homework - that was more confusing. I guess at that point, it should have become clear to me that math isn't going to be my thing, but I was so stubborn to make it (although I didn't actually admit it until eighth grade - two whole years after virtual math).
I finally admitted to myself out loud that I'm not good at math in the eighth grade. I had gotten a 56 percent on my quadratic functions test, so the usual F. I finally just looked at that test along with the four other failed ones and the one 92 percent one (YAY!) and said to myself these 13 words: "You are not good at math. It's not your thing - just accept it."
I struggle in math - there, I said it. So what if I get Fs on tests? So what if the homework is super difficult? Who cares if I need to spend an hour with a tutor in order to get higher than a 23 percent on a test? I don't let those things bother me, and that's all that matters. I have new hobbies and other subjects that make me feel good about myself, not just as a student, but as a human being.
I get Fs and struggle in math - and I'm absolutely OK with that.
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