That low, melodic murmur you heard as Taylor Swift drifted by you on the sidewalk half-heartedly kicking a pebble and full-heartedly holding back tears may have had something to do with the current state of her love life. In short, nobody wants to date Taylor Swift! America's favorite twenty-something teenager may have built a career on taking an electron microscope to her every failed romance, but according to Radar, that may be the very behavior that's preventing her from finding a new boyfriend! "Taylor’s advisers are tired of setting her up on dates only to have her strange personality scare men away," some all-knowing source/creep informed Radar. And what does "strange personality" entail? Could it be a reference to Taylor Swift's habit of occasionally speaking in high-pitched fax machine noises? Or perhaps her Temple Grandin-esque expertise in the field of livestock slaughter? No, in this case, "strange personality" seems to mean mostly just writing songs about exes. "None of the guys she shows interest in want to be the subject of a mean song six months down the road or be painted the bad guy." See, it's like the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle rendered way-too-real: Taylor Swift's very examination of her relationships will forever alter them. Meanwhile the creepy-sounding "advisers" whom Radar suggests lord over her career like a cabal of robed sorcerers apparently now don't want her to be around male genitalia of any kind! "They hope she will focus on building some strong female friendships and use that as an inspiration for the next phase of her career." You heard it here first: Taylor Swift's next album will be called Frenemy and include twelve songs written about Selena Gomez. Can't wait!
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