A WHOLE STORY QUESTIONING WHETHER ZAYN IS A MALE MERMAID? ER, YEAH.
There’s something that bothers us about One Direction's Zayn Malik, it’s a fact we’ve tried to ignore for quite a while now, but it’s suddenly all become too much and we just have to blurt out: ZAYN MALIK CAN’T SWIM! WHY THE HELL NOT?
Ah, that’s so much better.
After careful consideration we have realised that there is only one possible explanation for all this “I’m scared of water” business and it’s not that he can’t swim. Obviously the reason for Zayn’s alleged fear is that he’s actually a merman. You know, like a mermaid but a man.
If popular 1980s mermaid film Splash taught us anything it’s that when a mermaid is given the gift of legs she can't get them wet as her fishtail will appear. Clearly this is what happens to our Mermalik, which explains why that while the other 1D members happily sunned themselves on this boat, Zayn had to bury his body so deep that only his little head was sticking out.
Oh we know we’re making so much sense right now.
Zayn Malik is not a fully grown man who’s scared of the water, he’s actually a merman who doesn’t want his secret to get out. It’s so obvious.
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